I know it’s been three months. I’ve rather neglected both this and the Patreon. Hello to anyone new, and thanks to anyone still hanging around.
I had a difficult end of the school year and then spent some time off at the beginning of the summer (we went to Disney World!), and I have a commissioned job keeping me busy.
Every day, though, I look at my to do list and reminders and just feel overwhelmed. I honestly don’t know how to get rid of this feeling. I know part of it is the existential feeling of turning 29 on Tuesday (is “Quarter Life Crisis” still an appropriate title for this newsletter?) and wanting to change things to a sort of pen name and just…so much.
When I think about writing, that feeling is almost unbearable. I think it’s because the projects I want to work most on are closely personal, and I don’t feel like I am past that point in my life where I can write about it properly, with the right perspective. Instead, it’s all just too raw.
This has been my problem for the past five years.
I’ve always had a problem of wanting the ideal conditions for writing, and coupled with the fact I don’t know exactly what I want to write because I don’t know what direction I want a career to go—
It’s a lot.
The novel I was really excited about is just hitting too close to home. The project I’m doing on Patreon is massive and I don’t know what the school year will bring me in terms of capacity to work on it. I have a couple decent YA projects but I’m not sure I want to be a YA contemporary writer right now? Middle grade also seems very hard and I don’t really have any good ideas. Short stories have never really been my forte, and my poems keep getting rejected, including the one I really love.
Maybe I should take some time just to generate ideas? That seems like a lesson in all of this.
Here goes to fumbling toward some sort of creation.
Books!
I have finally been reading again, though! Here are some highlights:
The House of Now and Then by Edward Underhill: I had an ARC of this that I read late, and I really enjoyed this lightly speculative tale of dealing with the past and finding new love. I’ve been meaning to read one of Underhill’s books for a while! I also just like how this gave me a blueprint for an option of literary fiction with speculative elements.
Heartstopper Vol. 5 and 6 by Alice Oseman: Vol. 5 turned out to be a reread for me because I’d read it way back when it was posted online, but the conclusion was new. I generally prefer Oseman’s novels, but I enjoyed my time spent in the comic universe. I am planning on watching the conclusion to the TV version soon.
Nat and Cami’s Guide to Running an Undercover GSA by Karis Rogerson: Fair disclosure that I’m friendly with Karis online, but I genuinely loved this book. It almost made me cry at the end. This is a romance, yes, but it also deals with a lot of serious things like the homophobic evangelical movement.
True Biz by Sara Novic: I just started this and I’m loving it!
Watching
I’ve embarked on a rewatch of the Capaldi era of Doctor Who! That has been fun. In the classic series, I’ve reached the Sixth Doctor, which…sigh. I’m still in The Twin Dilemma. Meanwhile, part of me wants to finish Pluribus, but part of me thinks the essential premise that (spoiler for the first episode!!) her wife died is a bit too much for me. My wife and I might keep the Apple TV subscription for a bit and watch Shrinking instead.
Oh, but the highlight of course has got to be Game Changer’s new season on Dropout!
Well, I am glad I rebooted this and am no longer avoiding any sort of writing. We shall see what the future holds. Creative friends and mutuals, feel free to reach out.